Bogey Wonderland

Toddlers cry for many reasons: hunger, tiredness, pain, or to deliver an opinion with impact, among many. Toddlers are also notorious for behaviour commonly referred to, in some circles, as tantrums. Scientists have yet to identify a primal need fulfilment associated with, or caused by, tantrums. Psychologists have raised numerous hypotheses, opinions and suggested coping mechanisms for the emotionally draining experience of the aforementioned state of being. After bearing only one child, who has reached the ripe old age of 19 months, I can say with confidence that I have discovered the physiological reason behind the Throwing of the Tantrum.

Toddlers, without the rather acquired skill of nose-blowing, coupled with the tendency to force obstacles up into, as opposed to out of the nasal cavity, require a reasonable force with which to rid the nose of boogers that multiply on a par with household bacteria. Enter the opportunity to rinse the nose with salt, tears and excess mucus, while break dancing hysterically on the floor. Never in my life have I seen bigger boogers emerge from my daughter’s very cute, but oh-so mucky, nostrils as after a championship Throwing of the Tantrum. And never in my life have I been faced with so daunting a task as the clearing of the child’s nostrils. It generally requires both parents, a cotton bud, reams of tissues and one hell of a fight before the parents retreat from the task tail-between-legs and the toddler is left in a crumpled, tantrummed mess on the floor. On closer inspection, there is something more to the scene though: the willing exit of the offending booger, moving in and out of the nostril in time to the child’s breathing. One wipe... and one clean nose.

While the information contained herein is based on no scientific evidence, and completely on lay observation, I do hope that it will, in some way, give hope to the parents who fight day-in and day-out to perform the mandatory duties such as nose cleaning and nail cutting. And, to those at the end of their tether, perhaps there is a reason behind the tantrum, that serves everyone...